Sunday, August 24, 2008

My uncle, the escape artist...

well, he tried....

So, anyway,I have been struggling this week. The reason why is because I have an uncle that right now is in the hospital and that my family, atleast my mom has anyways been keeping me updated about how he is doing and his conditions. And well, he just had an surgery done last week and he still hasn't woken up. But an improvement, he has made some movements not much but a few. My mom was told that they were going to move him into another room so they can observe him. I hope that he wakes up from his surgery and that he doesn't have any complications for not waking up.

I have to admit, I don't know my uncle very well and he comes from my dad's side of the family. What that means is, I honestly don't know how my dad's side of the family is related to me or who they are because they have never spoken about due to somethings that has happened and we don't agree to. In my mom side of the family, however, I have heard names of different individuals and seen pictures and I don't know them but I know my mom's side of the family are much more forgiving, loving and genuine than my dad's since past experience.

I don't know what type of person my uncle is (he is I guess, my great uncle, he is my grandma's yeah). Well, the times that I have associated with him has been neat. He always has a funny story to share and seriously, you must expect the unexpected from him because he'll say stuff and like, all you can do is laugh because its silly. Well, my uncle, when I last visited him, he pretty much flat out said and I'm not quoting him correctly, but he said... "Ok, so here's the plan, I am going to escape because I don't like this place. Well, you guys got to help me plan my escape, I mean this is the only way I can leave this place, this is serious business." It was soo funny that he said that, he made me think of Second Hand Lion when one of the Uncle's is in the hospital and only this fella, got out and didn't have an escape plan, instead this uncle of the boy, threw stuff and pointed at both his brother and nephew angrily and said "You." and they both know him well, so they just nooded no. And it was just so funny that he left the hospital. My uncle on the other hand actually had a plan but wanted to elaborate on it.

And,ok, you know, I am not saying that he will pass on. I am not saying that at all but I don't know what will happen and I don't know if he will wake up from his surgery, I am hundred's of miles away so I just can't go over on any day to go visit my uncle. I had just found out that he was getting a surgery the day I went to visit him, so of course that toke me by surprise and I visited him, it was good to see him again but it was sad to see that he had to be there. But I know that from the past, he has had health problems. And I know that he has worked on cars and actually come to think of it, and this is just from what I have been told, here is my poor little old uncle trying to make a living by fixing other people's cars and jipping them of/over pricing them and really not knowing if the darn thing was actually going to work. Which, yes, I will admit was not a good thing. But I thought it was funny, mostly because people still kept coming back and asking him to fix their vehicle even though they would rant and rave of how a horrible job he did before. So, it was silly.

I don't know. When I went to go see him and I had decided to take a picture of him. I had felt this would be my last time seeing him, now I don't know if that means for a loooonnggg time because who knows when I will go back to California to visit family or really I don't know. But that feeling made me feel sad and it kind of made me feel empty and not ready to have someone in my family to pass on.

So this week, I have been questioning myself a lot of how much do I know about the Plan of Salvation? How much do I know about the Plan of Happiness? How much do I know about being sealed to families? Having a family for time and all eternity? To be reunited with them some day and to rejoice with them? And many more other questions. The answer to just about all of them is, not enough. I need to learn more. And I wonder, maybe the missionaries can come teach me again. Just for me to relearn those things. Or maybe it would be better if I can take some time and actually just sit down read about those things so I can be better prepared.

Right now, it seems as though I have a lot of questions in my life and I need answers and I need to do some soul searching to find those answers. I need to myself down and teach myself things that I never thought I had questions too. I have lost a loved one, that would be my granp's Ernesto, he was close to me when I was a little girl. And it was hard to know that he was no longer going to be there to take care of me and play games or to color the easter eggs. It was tough to be at his funeral, somebody had to hold me down because it was too difficult. That was years and years ago, I was only 5 years old or about close to that age.

I know that now though, when I do lose someone that I love, it would be good to be prepared but honestly you can never be prepared to lose a loved one and its still difficult to know that when those people you know and love soo much, when they are gone and you can no longer call them to say hello, to joke around with, to be playful, to share embarrassing stories with, or to be there to give you a hug when you need one. I guess, what I am saying. I don't want to have to go through that because of the pain that comes with that. And, I have lost close (not best friends but close) friends. And it was sad and I would say to myself it isn't true and then ended up finding an article and I ended up crying, only to remember that I will get to see them again in the next life and its going to be ok. So, I do know about the Plan of Happiness, the Plan of Salvation is just too many things are on my mind. And if I keep writing, I will just take too long. Its actually time for me to go, but I hope this made sense. Cause I don't know if it did. But I hope you have a wonderful day! And remember He will always be there, that would be Jesus the Christ, our Savior and Elder brother. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Publish Post

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Hurricane Katrina Part II or...

Something like that... Well, my room has now become the most smelliest room ever!! Its smells like mold! And not the good kind too. Unfortunately, someone accidentally hit one of the sprinklers while mowing the lawn and because of that, I have water damage in my room. The same thing happened last year. I don't know why it keeps happening and I am sure this can be avoided if we knew which sprinkler keeps getting moved the wrong way to stop this nonsense. Of course, now I am stuck sleeping in the living room. I actually have been a week before I went to go pay my parents a surprise visit. That week of leaving I had taken my bed out of the room, it was like Aug. the 6th, I think, that I had moved my bed. And I told the one room mate that is in charge of talking to our Landlord. Of course, no body did anything at that time because it wasn't that bad well they made a phone call but it hasn't been returned. It was getting smelly in my room because of the water that soaked up the carpet and kind of a wet wall too on the west side of the house, so now, the first Sunday that I got back from visiting my family... I find my carpet soak n' wet. Yeah, pretty much the grossest thing in the world. So, now I am stuck with this smelly carpet and a protest to mow the lawn from the one room mate that's "in charge." Its pretty pathetic.

Sorry to bust anyone's bubble, but this REALLY SUCKS!! I mean, what is a girl to do? Pray, and pray hard! So, I haven't heard any news yet to see what will happen to the darn carpet or how we are going to get this damaged fixed. Still no one really knows what sprinkler is making this thing such a big ordeal and a smelly house. I hope that at some point they will take the carpet out because our house stinks and its getting smellier by the day. And that can get us sick, truth be told, I would hate for all of us to get really sick from this stuff.

So, this is the most awful way to come home to now a non-existent room. I now made my space in the downstairs living room of the house and it sucks cause, we can't really have guest down there due to my belongings being there. Not totally messy. But, my belongings are still in the way. And I hate that, I really don't have a room. Like there is no privacy downstairs at all! And well, I keep thinking I should move anyways. I hate that this is happening. And I wish for something good to come along from this. I finally got my loan stuff figured out, that toke long enough and now is my room. Seriously, if its not thing its another. I guess, one thing to look foward too is now I can take some classes at UVU and work a second job. That means, me being TOTALLY busy. But that's life.

I know, I'm complaining but seriously, ggggooosh. Sometimes when it rains, it pours. And sometimes, like it saids in the saying...

"Sometimes God calms the storm...Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms his child."

Well, now all I want to say, is that I hope something good comes out of this. I am so glad I got to see my mom and dad. I miss them dearly! And I am soo far away from them and the rest of my family. Let me say that its hard to live away from the people you love the most. Its even harder when you have your friends raging about being able to see their family because they live down the street from them but they don't for you. And when you feel like your not in your comfort zone and all you want to see is some familiar faces; you can't because those familiar faces are back home, they are also your closest friends that you love to be around so much.

I will admit, Heavenly Father has given me the strength to be here on my own and to live the gospel in such a way that I can be blessed. Not only that, he has given me such wonderful gifts and wonderful people to be around. Its not the same as being back home but its a new way of living until Heavenly Father guides me to the next step, the next chapter in my life. I know He is always there even though its difficult to see at times but He is always leading me to the Straight and Narrow Path. I pray that He will continue to bless me, that He will continue to guide me and help me. I also pray that He will bless my family and help them and let them learn that He loves them. I say this is His Sacred Name, Jesus the Christ. Amen.



"God Will Always Be There"

A beautiful sunset is a
beautiful sight reminding us
all of God's wondrous light.
The day soon to be over with a
new day to begin as the soft
light of daybreak reminds us
again. God never left us,
he watches with care. And as
the new day begins he
will always be there.

Sharon B.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Moving on...

Well, I just got home about 12 hrs ago from California. And I have to say, it gets harder to leave the one's you love the most. I came home, to a realization, I have a lot I need to get done here where I am currently living. And I have to push myself to get things done faster because there is no other way things well get accomplished. My goal now is to work on my goals. Stop procrastinating! Procrastination, is such a horrible thing to do, it pulls you back and makes you fall back where sometimes you get yourself into a whole that is difficult to get out. Today is the day to stop that. I have a lot on my mind and a lot to work on.

I have to admit, I enjoyed spending time with my parents, nephew and crazy niece. I enjoyed going to Kareoke and missed out on the beach but that will have to wait for next time. I love that I have a great support system, great friends and just great people. Heavenly Father knows exactly when to put people in front of us and when we need them the most. He has a funny way of showing His love for His children here on earth. He knows us well and sometimes laughs when we are acting incredible silly, sometimes I bet, He wonder's why do we do the things we do? much like our parents would ask themselves those question's.

I am greatful to live in a beautiful earth with kind parents. I am greatful to have the opportunity to travel and to see gorgeous sites. I am greatful for a wonderful Heavenly Father who cares and loves me. I am greatful for the life I get to live and the things I am able to do. I am greatful for it all. And I say this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

love- me