Friday, September 9, 2011

Life is tough sometimes..

Golly, it really feels as though life has been hard for me. And it’s not because I'm going through anything extremely hard but the people I care about the most are having a hard time. And I don't like it one bit.
I have a friend that is struggling with so much and they have their grandpa that is on his death bed. It makes me sad to see them in the situation that they are in and it makes me sad their Grandpa slipping away. It reminds me of the time I saw my Grandma 5 months she passed away. It was technically my first time meeting her (because I had met her when I was a small girl at the age of 4). It was my senior year and it was the saddest year of my life. I remember just wishing I had known her better and had more time to spend with her but I only had two weeks. There were too many people for me to meet given that my mom comes from a large family. It was tough to go back home. I wanted to stay until after she had gone. I miss her. I miss my Grandma! =( Golly, I feel like I am an emotional wreck. I don't like this feeling too much but it’s perfectly normal. It’s normal to miss your love ones that are no longer here.
I just found out too that a friend is going anytime but no one knows when. I hardly know this person but the time I have spent with them and the small amount of time I have learned to enjoy having them around and I consider them my friend a very special friend. In fact, I dare say, all my friends are special to me and mean a lot. I love spending time with the people I care the most and chatting with them, enjoying their presence and being to have gospel discussions. I think those are one of my favorite subjects. I also really enjoy talking about the medical field, ASL, the history about the earth, history and influential people.
I know people wonder why I love reading about influential people. Well, let me tell you something. I had no real good influences in my immediate family. But because I was allowed to read, I read! I read about Martin Luther King Jr. I read Hubener vs. Hitler. I read about the Women's Right Movement. I read about Ed Roberts. I read about the Prophet Joseph Smith for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I read about soo many different things. I read about God and our Savior Jesus the Christ, my Elder Brother and my Redeemer.
I love watching movies based on true stories of people that came from families or backgrounds that were tough but even though they were tough that didn't stop them to make a difference, to change for the best and now they've come out soo incredible happy. They had a choice of two things: 1. either to mess up their life and be like the people that they were surrounded by or they can make a difference and be happy. I have chosen to make a difference in my life and I hope I already have.
I think I come off as too serious but really I try not to be and am pretty 'lax. I make friends easily and I am pretty fun person to be around with at least I think so. I have a sarcastic and dry sense of humor but I also have a good sense of humor. I can laugh at myself when I make a mistake or even when I fall. I'm not gonna lie but sometimes I laugh when other people fall. I like to ease the pain of awkwardness and of what could have been embarrassing to not be as embarrassing or I add to the embarrassment, because I embarrass myself. I treat my friends with love and respect and I think of myself as a pretty good person. And a good influence. Well, with the exception of when I start getting into food fights with people. ;)
I don't know how I got to the subject about all this but at any rate. Sometimes I wonder, how do I get through things? How do I survive? I believe that Christ has been helping me all this time. Actually I think I know that Christ has been helping me through all this time. He keeps pushing me to continue to go and reminds me that I have a purpose to live; He reminds me that I am of worth, and I am a sweet child of God. That I have a testimony of the gospel, of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and because of my strong testimony I can keep going knowing that things will get better, knowing that because the Plan of Salvation I will be able to see my family AND friends in God's Kingdom in Heaven. And its because of my unwavering faith that I can do all things. And I do have faith and I know that my Savior lives. I know that He is my all loving, kind; amazing Heavenly Father and that I have my Elder Brother, Jesus the Christ by my side. And I am SOOO glad that I can rely on them and trust that they will NEVER leave my side. I am grateful that they will never tell me to stop crying when I am feeling down; instead, they will give me their shoulder and their hand to help me pull through. I am grateful that I will be hugged with a hug of proctection and security and let me know that everything is going to be ok even when life is in shambles. I am grateful that I have my Savior in my life and that I have the gospel. I pray that things will only get better for my friends, for my family, myself and for everyone. I pray that they will feel the Savior's love as I have felt it. Thank goodness for words of encouragement and for Heavenly Father. =) It saves me so much in times like these and not just in these times but in times of happiness too. Thank goodness in the Plan of Salvation. =)

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